Wednesday, January 28
Penguins, an Epiphany...Perhaps even Two...
I guess I had some type of "epiphany" today...it didn't come out of the blue, really...
I had seen something on television...a guy, an M.D. to be precise, was doing some kind of cross between stand-up-comedy and psychotherapy (I kid you not!). Anyways, it was absolutely BRILLIANT. He said a couple of things that sounded quite banal, yet they made my mind go *click*...
Firstly: It's way more effective to strengthen one's strengths than it is to try working on one's so-called weaknesses.
As banal as this sounds, how many times (per day?) do we actually think 'Ah, I so wish I was more disciplined,' or else: 'Oh, I so wish I wasn't so impulsive.'
How often do we critizise ourselves for being the way we are.
Why fight ourselves? Why not allow ourselves to be - impulsive, chaotic, flawed, less than perfect (but then, who is perfect?). Maybe our impulsiveness is nothing but an expression of our creativity, and perhaps our lack of discipline is paired with the ability to enjoy the good things in life.
Secondly: Instead of trying to change yourself, why not try accommodating the conditions?
So you're incredibly communicative - well, then maybe the desk job as an accountant simply isn't for you. Try to find your own element...[see below!]
Thirdly: Do not compare yourself with others.
How many times do we actually think that we're not as good as the rest, not as good-looking, not as productive, not as slim, not as what-ever...
What we see/perceive of others is just a very small quantum of themselves. It is very likely, that they're just in the same boat.
We only see what they show us. Their doubts, fears are things we hardly hear of.
Besides...why would we want to be like them, like the others? There's plenty of them already...would be a waste, wouldn't it?
That M.D. (Eckhart von Hirschhausen) made a wonderful analogy with a penguin...he said, "I saw a penguin in a zoo once - the penguin was standing on a rock and he really looked pathetic with his short, useless wings, the bloated little body...'poor little creature,' I thought. But then the penguin glided into the water and it was just divine. His odd little body was just perfect for the water and penguins are indeed the most efficient swimmers on the planet. And then it dawned upon me...water is his element - the ELEMENT is the key."
You have to find YOUR element...an environment that matches your personality, conditions that strengthen your capacities.
The bottom line is...don't try so hard to change - to be somebody that you're not - change your environment instead, change the conditions until the fit to YOU!
And one more thing...
Different conditions - a different environment - can show us and our capacities in a whole different light. We're not like this or else like that...we're many things and we have the potential to be completely different in a different context - from zero to hero so to speak.
Don't give up on yourself because you failed once...at a school play, in college. You can be a winner the very next moment - in a different setting - especially when you're being in your element...
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13 comments:
Here's to finding your element!
I saw a lot of my flaws in that piece and it was a very, very inspiring read.
I have a big issue with comparing and you're so right. Why try to be like the others? There's enough of them already. I waste so much time thinking instead of doing.
Loved this post. Definitely copying it into my "mental" folder as we speak.
Mental folder...that's a nice expression.
Same here...I wrote this to myself in the first place.
There was even more in that "show", but it would be way too much...
These things ARE banal, yet, we lose track of them...and that fricking comparison...
Also, I know this little voice all too well...why can't you be more disciplined (like so-and-so)...why can't you be more like this or like that.
It was an epiphany that not *I* had to change, but my environment.
Ah Stone, such good truth here. Truer words have never, ever been fricking, fecking, fucking said. It's the story of the ugly duckling all over again. Finding home. Finding the place and the people where and with whom we can be ourselves. You go girl! Kai xo
C'est plein de sagesse ton article.
C'est vrai je passe mon temps à me critiquer :
Je suis trop froide, je ne suis pas sociable, je me sent bête, trop ronde pour mettre ceci trop ronde pour mettre cela. Comme je le disais dernièrement je suis ma pir ennemie.
Je ne me voit pas au contact des gens, je vais m'arreter là, bien que j'ai encor beaucoup de critique sur moi-même.
Ma tante me traite carrement de folle, je n'ai vraiment pas la même image de moi que celui qui les autres ont de moi.
Parcontre je ne me compare jamais à quelqu'un, le truc que je fais avec les autres ( que je ne fais pas avec moi-même )c'est ... comment dire ... les grandir, leur dire qu'ils sont bien comme ils sont etc... Les rassurés durant leur doute.
Mais j'aime cette idée de trouver son ELEMENT. Comme le dit ce MD ca doit être ca la clé afin de vivre en harmonie avec son corps son esprit.
***trop ronde pour mettre ceci trop ronde pour mettre cela.*** Oui, oui, oui...cette petite voix merdique! Moi aussi, je la connais trop bien! Merde!
Sois ton meilleur pôte...! Sans plus...si on était aussi gentil avec soi-même parfois qu'avec les autres, on aurait une vie plus facile.
Oui, cet élément...c'est en effet la clé...:)
Ca m'a vraiment fait un déclique cette émission...
***A blogger with a big heart of gold
Photos so great they'll be sold
Forever insightful
Inside and out beautiful
Her endearing words will never get old
Hmmm...who might ths be?***
Are you referring to me Akilah :)
If so, then thanks for that sweet limmerick!!
*big smile*
You're very welcome!
:-)
When I did a little physiotherapy course, we had to undergo therapy ourselves. At the time I had really negative inner voices.
"What did you say that for".
"That sounded so stupid".
Stuff like that.
I remember that on the way home from a really good nigh out . I would sit in the taxi talking to myself like that.
Over the years I've got these negative voices down to a minimum. So now even if they do come, I'll just let them wash over me.
Finding your element is the hard bit.I wish someone would just say:
"Do this you'd be great at this."
Mind you, I'm a challenge junkie. I constantly need to try new things.I wonder why that is?
***Finding your element is the hard bit.I wish someone would just say:
"Do this you'd be great at this."***
That's the thing you have to find out for yourself...
And these voices....arglll...I was like that too when I was younger (like you, I still hear them from time to time)...I would even go through the whole fricking conversation, re-think everything that I'd uttered...always finding something that sounded silly or off...etc.
I so know what you mean...
BTW...I just noticed writing this that I actually sounded like I *really* heard voices in my head :-)
You are so right and the ideas make so much sense. It's why I've recently accepted to stop studying after my bachelors and persue what I really want to do. It's a relief to embrace who you are, and stop trying to be what you are not.
Hmm, I like the element concept and the penguin example. When my friends get upset about something someone said, to help them through it, I've said, "You can't change that person. What you can change is your reaction to what the person says or does." There's a sense of peace that comes with the thought. Never thought of changing the element and environment to fit the needs. It makes a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing that!
You're most welcome!
I found this penguin/element story absolutely brilliant...it was some kind of eye opener for me :-)
I saw it on TV while flipping channels...sometimes you tumble upon a gem!
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