I can relate to her words, to this feeling of boundless despair, fatigue and eventually resignation...I know this feeling well...When the demons that you're fighting seem overwhelming...When you are swimming under the ice - having lost track of the hole through which you slipped...desperate for air, frantically looking for that 'hole'...the world above the ice looks blurry...you perceive the world up there, but you can't participate, nor can you touch what is above the ice...
You keep swimming in the hopes that the 'hole' will suddenly re-emmerge in front of you and that you - like Alice in Wonderland - can slip back into the world, into your life, into the "true you"...I found my 'hole' eventually...sadly, Julia never found hers...her 'hole' was out of reach and she was too exhausted and tired of swimming around under the ice...she just wanted to rest...
I hope from the bottom of my heart that she has found peace and rest...
May Julia rest in peace and may her family find peace.
8 comments:
Sad to hear you had such a grey period before but I'm so, so, so happy you found your hole.
This young lady sought help and it's painful to hear nothing seemed to show her the light.
My symathies to her parents. It's depressing to know that on top of this the mother has her husband's terminal cancer to weigh on her soul. It's going to be so hard to deal with losing her daughter and worrying about him getting stressed which is very harmful to your health, especially when you're already ailing. They are going to need a very, very strong support system.
P.S.
The photo is both beautiful and hauntingly sad.
Thanks for the compliment!
Yeah, it must be SO tough for her parents...that must be the worst thing that can happen to you...
La pire chose pour les parents que leur enfants meurent avant eux.
C'est vraiment triste pour cette jeune fille qui avait la vie devant soi, je ne sais que trop ce que sais de ne pas se sentir en vie, de se dire je vais laisser tomber et me laisser mourir.
J'ai une profonde pensée pour sa famille qui ne guérirons jamais de cette perte.
Je suis aussi heureuse pour toi que tu l'es trouver.
Oh Stone, I'm sorry for your loss. Are those your words? Or Julia's? Either way, suicide is explained so perfectly here. You can't participate. Frantic and afraid. You feel outside looking in and all alone. You feel invisible and unknown. Exhausted and so tired of trying to be a part of what seems to be so easy for everyone else. So sad for one so young. I hope she found peace. And hopefully those she left behind will find peace too. Kai xo
Hey there Kai :)
It wasn't really my loss...I didn't know her very well...I taught her sister, but it still hits close to home somehow, because you kind of feel "responsible" for your students in a way...
I kind of know what she's been through...this "under-the-ice-feeling" is my own experience...that's at least how it felt for me...
Take GOOD care of yourself, Kai!
Dihya, t'as raison, c'est vraiment la pire des choses...
Moi aussi je suis contente d'avoir retrouvé ce trou...je m'en suis sortie...mais cela m'a laissé avec une profonde sympathie pour des gens qui vivent une chose pareille...
Une profonde sympathie vaut toujours mieux qu'un jugement. J'ai jamais vraiment compris la non-honte des gens qui se permettaient de juger cet acte, tant qu'on ne sait pas ce que sait on se tait.
T'as raison...c'est triste et c'est tout ce qu'il y a à dire là-dessus...
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